Monterey residents who have gone through the divorce process understand how challenging it can be. Many have compared it to a minefield that can have a dramatic effect on a person’s emotions. The scars that are created in the aftermath of a divorce can last for the rest of a person’s life.

When people talk about divorce, they often use terms that would otherwise be used in war. They talk about the winner and the loser, legal and financial battles, and failure and conflict. The ironic thing is that the people who now view each other as enemy combatants were not too long ago in love with each other. They may have had children together and built a home, and they saw a future together.

In more combative divorces, children end up being collateral damage. A collaborative divorce is another way to go through the divorce process. This is where the divorcing spouses work together to come up with solutions that create the least amount of harm to everyone involved. The goal is no longer attaining victory in the courtroom. Instead, the idea is to come to a truce and find a peaceful end to the conflict.

Part of this has to do with walking into the divorce negotiations knowing what triggers could escalate the situation. Then, the goal should be to avoid these trigger points so as to not derail the divorce process.

A lot of this has to do with looking into the past. A divorcing couple can ask themselves about things that triggered arguments in the past. Was it money or child rearing? If so, these same issues are going to be flashpoints during the divorce negotiation.

A family law attorney may help their clients go through the divorce process. They may explain how to determine the value of their client’s property, how to divide assets or how to set up child custody. In cases where it’s necessary, the attorney may represent their client in court.